If someone you know says to you, “Would you like some of this salad I’m making?” … what kind of reaction would that provoke in you?
It depends on how you view the situation — what your narrative or story is of the situation:
- If you see this as a generous act of kindness and this person is contributing towards your healthy life, then you might feel grateful.
- If this question is seen as a part of a narrative of hundreds of times this person has criticized your weight or criticized you personally … then you might feel hurt and angry.
- Or maybe you have a narrative that salad is terrible, and you might feel disgusted and insulted, or you might feel oppressed by diet culture.
These are three very different reactions to the same act. And they’re determined by your view of things, your narrative or story.
Every day, our lives are shaped by the story we have of ourselves, of others, and of the reality around us. We have feelings about politics, world crises, our community, social media, our work, an upcoming meeting, a conversation we had this morning, how good we’ve been at keeping up with new habits.
If you miss a day of meditation or exercise … depending on your story about yourself, you might feel that this is no big deal and just start again the next day … or you might feel that you’re terrible at this and you’ll never get it right and your life is meaningless. Very different reactions and results from the same act, and it’s all dependent on story.
I invite you to reflect: What results are you getting in your life right now, and how are they shaped by your stories? What is your relationship like to others in your life right now, including yourself, and how is that shaped by your stories? What is your relationship to food, exercise, meditation, self-care, rest, work, play … and how are those relationships shaped by your stories?
Once we can become aware of our stories and how they shape our lives, through the kind of reflection I’m inviting you to do right now … then we can start to reshape things through new stories.
Take a few minutes to reflect.